I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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