If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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