she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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