Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
