..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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