I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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