What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize