She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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