There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
