the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
