I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
