Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
