Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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