Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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