I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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