Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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