They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
