I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
