well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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