is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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