Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
