You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
