Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize