We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
do nipples grow back?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
