I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
