Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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