This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
