got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
