a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
