I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
