So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i would one night stand the shit outta him
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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