is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
