In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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