pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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