You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
