Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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