i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize