somebody snuck up and got me drunk
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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