don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
