Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
only you would photoshop your dick
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You pole danced in your parka.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
