I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize