I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize