Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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