Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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