It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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