whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
