Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
True strength comes from lack of pants
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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