genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
