Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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