I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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