she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
