Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
