I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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