i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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