Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Randomize
