Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Randomize
