North Korea, Best Korea!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
